Night of the Living Dead..... Or a crack whore you decide.

The following events are factual, although somewhat.....Embellished.

The humid air and light mist fog up the lenses of my binoculars. My legs are cramping from the crouched position I took on the roof across the parking lot from the apartment in question. Something strange was going on there, and if I have to spend all night doing surveillance to figure it out, so be it. The curtains are completely drawn, and thick. No light is coming through, and there is no sliver in between the fabric panels through which I can see. "What are you hiding in there?" The rain starts falling heavier. Clouds are completely concealing the moon, creating no light to give away my position.

My vigilante spidey-senses started tingling 6 weeks ago when I noticed the 90s model blood-red Pontiac grand prix parked in the lot. The driver of this car had no parking sense at all. The car was constantly parked at an angle, left front tire in one spot, car in the middle, and right back tire in a completely different spot. Three spaces!! Who did this person think they were?? They were obviously a detriment to society. Now 2 people would have to park farther than usual, and if you're lazy, that is a SEVERE hindrance. I must find out more.

4 weeks ago, crouched in position, I hear a car. Out of the corner of my eye, I see something moving, coming my way. A blood-red car!! I quickly turn to see it, and its the Grand Prix in question!! All the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end, and I am poised, ready for action. The driver whips into 3 spots, as usual. After a brief pause, the driver quickly opens the door, steps out, and....

I'm not kidding. This is what got out of the car. Ok, maybe she had eyes. OK back to the story...

My entire body froze in terror. The words were stuck in my throat, "Excuse me ma'am. I was wondering if it wouldn't be to much trouble for you to take up only one spot? Sometimes I come home late, and the only spots open are on the other side of the lot. Since you always park in front right here, maybe if you took only one spot, I could get a spot closer. Thanks so much for your time, I hope I wasn't too much trouble."

The only part of my body that moved were my eyes as they followed her inside. I wanted to reach out, tap her shoulder and speak, but the fear of her head spinning around a la Exorcist and hissing and splitting blood at me was too overwhelming. She was quite tall, and very thin. I couldn't tell if she was old or young. Her skin looked like that of an 80 year old woman hanging on the body of a 25 year old. Her hair was long, but looked like it may have been falling out, in very large chunks. It was brown, but her roots were about 3 inches, and were white. She was extremely pale, almost transparent. She wore a tight purple tank top, with purple shorts. Albino? Witch? Leper? Zombie? Crack whore? My heart sank as I watched her walk inside, I knew I had lost my chance.

This is when I knew I must find out more. I started my stakeout. Dressed all in black, with cape draped around me to help me blend into the dark night background. Superheroes must do a lot of reconnaissance, even if it takes hours away from their vigilante ways. 2 weeks went by until I saw here leave from her apartment again. She walked quickly outside, glanced at her car, and rushed back inside. WTF??

Her car doesn't move for days. Does she work? Or is casting evil spells in her dark curtained living room her only means of sustenance? Curtains are always drawn, lights rarely on, it is truly a mystery.

The rain still falling, I decide to come back another night. I will foil her evil plan.